Things aren’t right. I can’t say when it started, I don’t know myself, but I do know that I’ve not been feeling ‘right’ for a few months. At first it wasn’t a big deal, just feeling more irritable, tired and not as interested in things I usually am. But I could cope with that.
It’s gotten worse and I’m in a perpetually numb state. I’m never happy, sometimes I’m sad or angry but majority of the time I’m numb. I can go through the motions and get through my day just fine but then I get home and once I’m alone, I’m hit by the darkness. The feelings of worthlessness start creeping in, I feel like this ugly, fat, loser with no friends, prospects or goals. I eventually get some sleep (that’s a struggle) and then wake up with my shield back in place.
I’m 20, I’m always told that these are the best years of my life- if that’s true, kill me now.