I’ve been awake since 6am. It’s approaching midnight now. I barely slept last night. I’m exhausted, so why won’t I let myself sleep? I can always think of something else I need to do (write a list of things to do tomorrow, go to the toilet, find a new book to read, scroll through the news app on my phone) but the reality is, I don’t really NEED to do these things. I just need to find something to do to stop myself going to sleep. Self sabotage? I guess so.
I know that if I close my eyes and persevere, I will fall asleep eventually. But I can’t bare lieing down with thoughts running and running through my head. I’ve been feeling a lot better, positive even, so why do all these feelings come back as soon as my head hits the pillow?