January

January has flown by and a lot has happened already. I started my second part time job in December so have been working two jobs for about 6 weeks now. I am absolutely loving it though and the extra income isn’t bad either! I’ve already managed to add a fair amount to my savings. 

E and I have planned our October holiday too, we are officially going to Iceland! We have worked out the figures and it’s going to be quite expensive (we want to do a lot in a short space of time and Iceland is pricey!). I got my holiday from work confirmed today, so just waiting on E’s to be confirmed then we can book away! We’ve decided we definitely want to do the ‘inside the volcano’ tour, self drive the Golden Circle, visit the blue lagoon, go ice caving, hopefully see the Northern Lights (but we know it’s never guaranteed) and of course, sightsee around Reykjavik. If anyone has any tips or things you would recommend doing in Iceland in October, feel free to let me know!

I took the leap and joined a gym too but I haven’t quite made it through the doors yet. Oops! My plan had been to go after I finish work but by the time I’ve finished, I’m knackered and the last thing on my mind is working out. I do about 10,000-14,000 steps on average during a shift and I get up at 3am to start at 4am so I’m thinking that might be enough exercise for now. The gym membership might be going in the bin.

January has mostly been great but the only downfall is, my little dog Tilly’s health has rapidly declined. She has tumour on her spine and hasn’t got long left. She is my little best friend, and has been for 8 years. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do without her. 

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Goals for 2017

I can’t believe that it’s already time to write this post. I feel like I say this every year now but 2016 has flown by in the blink of an eye. It’s been an eventful year (I got my first job, passed my driving test) but I’m looking forward to wiping the slate clean in 2017. 

So here we go. I don’t have a lot of goals for 2017 but the first couple are quiet significant..

-get my first car

-start a new job

-get discharged from MH services (due to happen in January)

-go on holiday (my best friend + I are planning to go to Iceland!)

-branch out and meet new people

-improve my fitness and continue to eat healthily

2015

We are well into 2015 and I still haven’t written out my goals for this year which is something I promised myself that I’d do. I find it difficult to ‘commit’ to things, I guess that should be a goal? To see things through until the end? Or at least give things a fair try.. so here we go.

-See things through until the end.

-I want to leave the UK whether it be for a day trip or a weekend. Preferably via airplane. I’ve only flown twice in my life and I was 4 at the time. My mum took my siblings and I to Finland where we met Santa which I remember nothing of, haha! So flying is something that I’m keen to experience.

-Start driving lessons. Very self explanatory.

-Read 50 books. It sounds like a lot but reading is my one passion so I think I’ll probably surpass 50.

-Keep a daily diary. I have a ‘5 year diary’ which allows you six lines per day so this has, so far, been easy to stick to.

-Start a college course. This is one of the more difficult ones. I doubt I’ll be going to ‘proper’ college anytime soon so it’ll most likely be something online. For now.

-Start volunteering. Another hard one. I’ve wanted to do voluntary work for a longtime but when you feel like you’re on the brink of a panic attack majority of the time, it’s kinda difficult.

-Redecorate my bedroom. Fresh start and all that.

-Stay up North for a month.

-Eat vegan for a month. I’m a vegetarian, born and raised, and I’m interested in seeing how I feel within myself after eating vegan. I don’t think I’ll ever make the permanent change but you never know!

-Make more of an effort to stay in contact with friends. I struggle with this because none of my friends live anywhere near me which means us meeting up takes a lot of planning and travelling which, again, is hard when you have severe anxiety.

-Learn to love myself.

These are the things I really want to achieve, and focus on, this year. I know that there aren’t a lot but oh well, they’re my goals and I don’t want to set myself up for failure with a list as long as the alphabet! I do want to try and post here more because it gives me a little sense of achievement and it’s great to have things like this documented, so that’s another unofficial goal- write more. We’ll see how that one goes haha. I hope that if you’re reading this you are having a wonderful 2015 and if you aren’t, don’t worry, you’ve got 10 more months to turn it around! 🙂

2014

2013/14 were without a doubt the hardest, most painful years of my life but with 2015 only a few hours away, I wanted to focus on some of the positive moments from this year! So here we have..

Things I’ve achieved in 2014:

-I accepted that I’m ill and decided to give recovery a chance, which led to..

-..getting discharged from inpatient after 10 months!

-turned 18

-continued with medication

-joined the gym

-was a bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding

-and wore my dress all day

-stayed at a hotel for the first time!

-stayed out of hospital (minus one blip)

-travelling on train/tube at first with company, then alone!

-eating, within reason, when my body needs to

-wasn’t as reckless with money

-realised that I can’t let other people’s negative emotions/opinions control mine

-got Taylor Swift tour tickets for June 2015(!!!)

-went to my CFS clinic appointment alone for the first time

-met up, multiple times, with friends

-learnt to say ‘no’

-allowed my mum to continue to have complete control over my medication

-got the tube home after an anxiety attack

-cut ties with people found triggering/unhelpful

-met the giraffe I adopted!

-had multiple emotional conversations with different family members, which were difficult but beneficial

-kept up with my regular appointments

-started seeing a recovery, this was a big deal because it meant adding someone new to my care team after such a long time

-made it through Christmas without engaging in negative behaviours

-I’ve finally put the phrase ‘choose your battles’ into motion

-accepted the loss of old friendships

-saw distant family members for the first time with them actually knowing about my illness

This was a difficult list to make because it’s extremely difficult for me (and most people!) to acknowledge my own accomplishments but I think it’s something everyone should start to do more of! So those are the things I feel I have achieved this year. I’m going into 2015 with a completely different outlook on life and hopefully this year will top all of my previous years! I’m most likely going to do a post in January where I set myself some goals for 2015.

With all that said, I hope, whatever you are doing, you bring the new year in with a smile. See you in 2015!